Are you struggling to put your thoughts and feelings into words? Writing your own vows is difficult for some people and understandably so when a lot of us have never done it before. All it takes is a little thought and imagination and some help from a professional… like moi! I have written some of my top tips below. I hope they help!
1. Discuss the style of vows with your fiancé. It may be a little awkward if you have everybody rolling around the aisle laughing at your funny vows and your husband or wife to be has written deeply moving and tear-jerking words. If you both have a nice mixture of both it works well.
2. Taking number 1 into consideration, there’s no reason why your vows shouldn’t be fun. They’re a celebration of your love and commitment to each other and the promises you make to each other for life. You want to promise to live in a world that is happy and makes you smile so why not promise to love your spouse even when the football season is on, to not talk while Corrie is on and replenish brews during the omnibus or to love them almost as much as you love your dog?
3. I always advise to keep your vows secret until the big day. You know your partner better than anyone. You will know how to make them belly laugh and how to hit them right in the feels. This is what you want to see on your wedding day: your husband or wife fully swept up in the love and emotion coming from your vows. This has way more of an effect if they have not read or heard them beforehand.
4. Agree on an approximate length for your vows. As a very rough guide, about 200-300 words is normally just right but this is your big day so if you want to roll out that scroll then DO IT!
5. When actually writing your vows, think of things that you love about your partner. Say you love their crazy laugh. One of your vows could be “I promise to always be your clown and I aim to make you do your snorty laugh on a daily basis.” Think about what your partner loves about you. If your partner loves you because you are caring and protective, one of your vows could be “I promise to always surround you with love and protection. To walk through all of life’s storms, by your side, and be there for you through all that life has to offer.”
Then think about the future. What are the plans you both share for the future? How about travel? “I promise to travel the world with you and experience all it has to offer, by your side, hand in hand. Let’s fill that travel scrapbook from cover to cover with pictures we will one day share with our grandchildren.”
6. If you’re unsure then try your vows out on a friend who knows you both. This is a good idea even if you’re sure you nailed your vows as it is important to practise them so you feel comfortable and confident when you come to read them on the day. I often read through the vows for my couples too (and try not to cry… normally do).
7. Make sure you have a printed copy, preferably two. Your celebrant will normally be more than happy to print these for you. If you would rather do it yourself then that’s great. Just make sure that one of your bridal party has them for you on the day.
Finally, have FUN and ENJOY the process. Basque in all the love and funny stories that you relive while writing your vows and promises to each other. As a Celebrant, watching my couples exchange their vows is my favourite part and it will be yours too, I promise!
Wallace R Caroujo